Last week was a big week for Pat (my dear husband) and I. We had a video call with my doctor to determine if this is the right time to move on to a new drug…a stronger treatment for my autoimmune disease Cicatricial Pemphigoid. I have been having flare-ups for weeks. (Let’s be honest…I have been having flare-ups for about 2 years but I keep trying to convince myself that I am better.) I have delayed this change for at least the last 9 months because I did not want to be on this drug, and I did not want the consequences that may develop.
I have been living in fear of the unknown, the lack of control, and the possible side effects. I do not want to live in fear anymore! I want to be the victor not the victim!! Read more on Fighting Fear HERE!) I have been more comfortable with “knowing” the pain and consequences of my current state and current drugs than “not knowing” what my pain and consequences would be on a new drug. Unfortunately, to remain in the status quo means that I am always in pain which is hard for me and my loved ones to witness. I am ready to make a change. It is time for me to kick fear out of the driver’s seat of my life and move forward with an opportunity to improve and heal.
So here we go!! I will remain on all my current treatment but add to it another drug called mycophenolate mofetil or CellCept. It is a drug used for transplant patients as an anti-rejection drug. However, people with my disease and other diseases like mine have found relief from the symptoms of pemphigus and pemphigoid on this drug. Mycophenolate mofetil is an immunosuppressant drug. If my immune system is suppressed then it cannot attack my own body. So, voila! Blisters are gone! At least, that is the hope!
There are potential side effects from this drug.
Nausea
Upset stomach
Diarrhea
Increased risk of getting certain cancers
Increased risk of getting infections
Blood issues such as low blood counts and higher glucose levels
and others…
My goal is to focus on the potential benefits and NOT the potential side effects. I choose to stay positive. I CHOOSE JOY in this opportunity to feel better and have a better quality of life. Sometimes, I have to CHOOSE JOY every hour when I am having a bad day, but I CHOOSE JOY all the same. Thank you, Pat, my doctors, and my God for the patience and support and love that I have felt while making this decision over the last year. (To read more about CHOOSING JOY, click HERE for Life’s Journey #13: Choose Joy.)
I read this quote online today. I hope we all choose to keep fighting. To hold our heads up, with God at our side to shield and protect us, to fight the battles of this life. Let’s be BETTER, not BITTER. Let’s choose to be a VICTOR, not a VICTIM. How may I best support you in this effort?Please share with me the battle you are fighting so I may pray and support YOU, too!
PRAYER:
Abba, Father. Hear the prayers of your children. You already know what we are fighting. You know our choices and our actions. You know US and our situations. Lord, give us the strength to endure and to be strong… to CHOOSE JOY… to choose to follow you in all things and at all times. Thank you, Jesus.
Fear…that pesky, little bugger. Fear creeps into my mind and emotions with each unexpected change in my life. Fear may creep in slowly with little doubts and insecurities as with a change in plans, a change in the random sounds my car makes, or a change in my path when I take a wrong turn. On the other hand, fear may penetrate my mind with the force of a gale wind when the changes are overwhelming or over-concerning such as a change in a relationship, a change in health, or a change job status. It is not invited. It is not wanted. But fear does not care. It shows up, SO we need a path to guide us out of it!
The enemy loves to use fear to try to throw me off track…to move my focus from trusting in God and His strength, His power, His healing, and His plan to focusing on myself and all the things I cannot control. When I focus on myself and my limited ability to control my life on my own, fear takes the driver’s seat. When fear is driving, it reminds me that I am not enough on my own; I lack control; and I often do not know which way to turn. Living in fear is unacceptable!
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.“
One of my favorite authors, Annie F. Downs says, “Our feelings can ride, but they cannot drive our lives.” I may be fearful for any number of reasons. BUT I work to CHOOSE JOY in my circumstances in the midst of the fear. I choose to replace the fear with trust in God and His plan. I choose to let God lead and I follow as a faithful servant. I choose to rely on God’s promises for direction and hope. For as a follower of Christ, God promises me power, love and self discipline through the Holy Spirit in me (see 2 Timothy 1:7 above). For I am not in control, but God always is!!
So HOW do I fight fear?
“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
These verses remind us of how to refocus our hearts on Truth when we are afraid. In summary,
Attitude – Focus on the positive. Choose joy.
Prayer – Pray continually. God wants to hear us cry out to Him, worship Him, and state our requests to Him. He is our provider.
Gratitude – Count our blessings no matter the circumstances. Remind ourselves of all the wonderful ways God has helped us in the past. By documenting our reasons to be grateful, we are able to look back on God’s faithful grace and mercy in the past to give us hope and joy for future blessings.
Belonging – We are the children of God saved by the blood of Christ Jesus, His Son, and we are filled with the Holy Spirit. God has a plan for us and we belong to Him. We are created, known, loved and provided for by our God.
Destination – We will be in heaven with Jesus. This life on earth is not the end. It is not even the best part! Our true home and our perfect selves are in heaven for eternity.
Companionship -We are not alone…ever. Jesus is with us always and will never abandon us.
Basically, we all have feelings. Our feelings are real…we feel what we feel. We are able to acknowledge them, but we need to resist allowing our feelings to control us. I don’t want to live with anger in control or sadness in control or fear in control of me and my actions. Do you?
PRAYER:
Abba, Father. We don’t want fear to drive in our lives. We want You to be the driver. We need You to be the driver. Lord, help us to stop allowing fear to control us. Help us to resist and rebuke the enemy in the name of Jesus so that he may not use fear as one of his tools to lead us away from you. Help us to recognize when we have turned from you and our trust in you. We will never have control but we know you have complete control. You are the Maker of all things, Lord, and You rule all things. Thank you for your grace, mercy, power, love and self-discipline that allows us to always be joyful and find thanksgiving in all things regardless of the circumstances. Amen.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER:
When was the last time you were afraid?
What were the circumstances? What was causing your fear?
Looking back, are you able to see things now that you are grateful for in the midst of the challenge?
What are those things? Write them down and put them in a safe place. Read them when you need to see how God is working in your life to redeem your story.
In my quiet time this morning, I was reflecting on a conversation yesterday with my counselor. I discussed with her that I am struggling with anxiety and coping with current trials. Not only was I anxious but I was feeling guilty about my anxiety. “I have decided this year I will CHOOSE JOY in all circumstances,” I stated. “So why can I not do that? Why am I still anxious?” I told her that some days I feel overwhelmed and less successful at focusing on the JOY. I know God has blessed me and provided for me over the years in many ways. But the JOY seems to evade me and the anxiety seems to surround me. Am I the only one who feels this way at times?
I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit did not leave me in that place of confusion and guilt. My quiet time this morning was not just a reflection on the turmoil of emotions that I was feeling yesterday. It was also a time of wisdom, great healing and hope. Multiple resources seemed to acknowledge my feelings, affirm my humanity, weakness and sin, and point me to the strength and protection of God when I feel vulnerable, anxious and unsure.
GOD-MOMENT #1: I am reading the book Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado. In the first chapter I read today, I was struck by multiple ideas that seemed to jump off the page and say to me, “I HEAR YOU! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!” The quote below described exactly how I felt yesterday with my counselor – anxious and guilty for the anxiety.
“One would think Christians would be exempt from worry. But we are not. We have been taught that the Christian life is a life of peace, and when we don’t have peace, we assume the problem lies within us. Not only do we feel anxious, but we also feel guilty about our anxiety! The result is a downward spiral of worry, guilt, worry, guilt.” ~ Max Lucado, Anxious for Nothing
Max also reminded me that swirling anxiety and guilt and more anxiety and guilt can lead to sinful behavior. When anxiety is left unchecked and festers in our hearts with self-blame and guilt causing even more anxiety, it may lead to more damaging behaviors to find control such as alcohol abuse, binge eating, excessive shopping, food denial, anger or a number of other responses. This addictive behavior may result in even more hurt, trauma, and isolation. It is a form of idolatry, where we substitute behaviors and feelings to help us rather than turning to God to help us. One path leads to destruction while the other leads to hope and healing.
Not only were my feelings of guilt and anxiety acknowledged and affirmed, but I was also reminded of another quote mentioned by my counselor yesterday which leads me to God-Moment #2…
“Addiction is ultimately an issue of worship. We worship something other than God. Relationships, a substance, a feeling, a person. Addiction, whatever the substance, is ultimately an issue of idolatry. God says, ‘Don’t have other Gods before me,’ and we choose something other than Him.” ~ Edward T. Welch from Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave: Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel
Oh boy! This hits home. I have had issues with a food-denial additions in the past…about 20 years ago, specifically. I know the thought-processes and the behaviors. I understand the negative thinking and self-criticism. I know what it means to put emotions, feelings and behaviors in the lime-light rather than God as my Creator, Jesus as my Savior, and the Holy Spirit as my Protector. I have been there and don’t want to go back. I see the warning signals and desire for control.
BUT…oh how I love the word BUT in these situations…I also was reminded that I am NOT alone! I was not meant to get through this life by myself. I am not in the battle as the only warrior. I have others and I have my God to help me. I am known, loved and created wonderfully by God. Jesus already took the penalty for my sin. And the Holy Spirit is by my side and protecting me from evil, guiding me through the rough waters and reminding me that I am loved…dearly loved. I am loved not only by God but by my community of believers, my friends and my family.
What great wisdom and reminder for being prepared and on the watch for enemy to take hold of me.
GOD-MOMENT #3: With all this in my head, I turned to my reading of the Psalms for today…Psalm 31, 91, and 121. And God met with my in Psalm 121. All of the confusion, anxiety, guilt, alone-ness, and fear of anxiety-escalation lead me to this glorious Truth…
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.
My help comes from the Lord. YOUR help comes from the Lord. He will not let us stumble. He will watch over us continually. He will stand beside us as our protector always. Rest in the arms of the Lord. Seek His forgiveness, confess your sin, and accept Him as your Savior, Protector, and Guide.
PRAYER:
Thank you, Jesus, for this Truth. Thank you for the timing of your Word and the other resources you used to speak into my life and my anxiety. Thank you for this message hold in my heart as my prayer to you and my reminder of your faithfulness. My hope is in You, Lord. My strength is in You, Lord. My protection is from You, Lord. Help me remember where my hope and strength and protection comes from on the days I forget. You are a merciful and gracious God and I love You. Help me obey You and follow You all the days of my life. Amen.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please add your voice to the comments as an encouragement to others.)
Where do you turn, other than God, when you are fighting for control?
How has God reminded you of His presence and His desire to be your one and only God?
What is your story of overcoming an anxiety or addiction by the power of God and your community of support?
Hello, Sweet Circle. Can I just say that, “It has been a week.”
One of the deepest desires of my heart is to be true to myself and true to you. I shared in my last blog post Life’s Journey #15: The Drowning Man, my latest struggles with the decisions on my treatment for my autoimmune disease. I was struggling. I had doubts. I was crying out to God. I was asking and pleading for direction, and honestly, I was frustrated that I did not hear God’s voice. “Why aren’t you leading me, Lord?” This was a frequent cry of mine over the last week. I even prayed something to the effect of “Why am I praying if I cannot hear You, Lord?!” Yikes! As harsh as that may seem, I know my God, my Lord, is big-enough to handle my questions. He is big enough to hear my frustrations and not lash out at me or abandon me. He loves me and He loves YOU. He desires to hold me and hold YOU in His arms through it all …even when we are crying out to Him with our confusion, our laments, and even our anger.
Psalm 42 was one of the recent Psalms I read on May 12, 2023, while I was going through this challenging week. (See post In The Word #14: A Walk Through the Psalms for my reading plan.) I was moved by the honesty and directness of the Psalmist. My heart connected with these words as I read them. I loved the lessons and messages which spoke to me in these words. The permission to struggle, ask questions and praise our God in my communications with Him.
For the choir director: A psalm[a] of the descendants of Korah.
1 As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. 2 I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? 3 Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?”
4 My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks amid the sound of a great celebration!
5 Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and 6 my God!
Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you— even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar. 7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me. 8 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.
9 “O God my rock,” I cry, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?” 10 Their taunts break my bones. They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”
11 Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!
LESSONS I LEARNED in PSALM 42:
Verses 1-2: I may express my longing for God. Sometimes I don’t feel as close and connected with God as I want to be. I know He has not left me, but I am drifting from Him for some reason. It may be my own sinful actions or unconfessed sin or time away from Him and His Word or whatever. But when I turn back to Him, I know He hears me. He is waiting for me to return. He welcomes me home to His open arms and His provision. He quenches my thirst for Him with His love and His Word.
Verses 3-4: I may be honest with my pain, my hurt, and my tears. God already knows what is going on in my head, my life, and my soul. He knows my hurt and my pain. I cannot hide anything from Him. I may open up to God in honesty, and I know His love is unconditional…always.
Verses 5-8: I may lament over my own confusion. And I praise God in the midst of the confusion. God’s provision, love and grace will wash over me like the waves of the sea. He is faithful, merciful, and full of grace. I may CHOOSE JOY always, knowing that God is with me always. Even when I am sad and my emotions are raging, God is with me. I may rejoice in Him, praise Him and the life that I have through His Son Jesus.
Verses 9-11: I may put my hope in God, my Rock. God desires my praise in all circumstances for my hope is in Him in all circumstances. Jesus has overcome temptation, peer pressure, sin, and death. I have eternal life in Jesus, because I believe. No matter what I am facing, I do not need to despair for I know God will redeem all. He will make beauty from ashes. He will remove all my shame, all my regret, all my doubts. For God is Good and I may CHOOSE JOY for the promises He gives me.
Amen and Thank You, Jesus.
I am not perfect and I make bad decisions. But amidst the struggles of my human side, I also know that I am a beloved child of God. I am known, valued, worthy and loved by my God. I am only saved from sin through the love of Jesus. Jesus is the one who can redeem my soul and forgive me of my shortcomings. My hope is in Him and Him alone. He is worthy of my praise. His shoulders may bear the weight of my questions and pain. He will redeem me and my life.
And He will do the same for you, my Sisters and Brothers!
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share in the Comments section below.)
What is the Psalm that speaks to your heart?
Why do you connect with it?
If you do not have a Psalm in mind, reflect on Psalm 42. Are you able to feel the Holy Spirit impress upon you comfort, hope and joy through the verses? What is coming to mind for you?
“To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus, for your love and provision. You are our gracious, forgiving, and merciful God. You love us unconditionally. You know us completely…even our sin. Yet you will never turn away from us. You are patient and kind and will welcome us home to you when we seek you and ask for forgiveness. We CHOOSE JOY and choose hope for you are with us always. Amen.
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
This story was at the heart of my God-moment this week. Let me explain…
Over the last year, I have not been making progress with my current medication for my auto-immune disease…Cicatricial Pemphigoid. (For more mentions of this disease and the impact it has had on my life, read my blog posts: Behind The Scenes #3, Life’s Journey #10 and Life’s Journey #11.) I experienced some improvement from when I was first diagnosed in 2021, but not enough that I would be considered healthy and able to eat more freely. I did not want to go forward with the next recommended drug as it is a stronger drug and an immuno-suppressant drug. Both of these qualities for the new drug brought with them feelings of fear and anxiety for me. I was afraid that if I started an immuno-suppressant drug at the age of 54 then I would be preventing my body from being able to fight off normally harmless bacteria and viruses for the rest of my life. The following questions swirled in my head…
Would I be sick more frequently?
Would I be able to get over minor illnesses without major complications?
Would I need to restrict myself from participating in public events in order to avoid being exposed to potential illnesses?
What are the other side effects of the new drug on other parts of my body?
Would this cause a shorter life expectancy?
As you can imagine, these were not fun thoughts! I was experiencing a low-grade fever of anxiety, doubt and fear over next steps with this drug.
With that said over the last two months I have been pursuing a potential alternative treatment plan for my auto-immune disease through a more holistic approach. I went through many, many, MANY tests with the treatment center and received my results in mid-April. The results showed several issues other than the auto-immune disease. Some of the issues were even described to be extreme issues. The treatment plan would consist of significant diet changes, over 12 new supplements and medications, and IV therapy. That would be A LOT of changes and A LOT of meds to manage every 2 hours throughout the day.
I was struggling to make a decision to commit to a six-month treatment plan. My husband and I discussed our options thoroughly and often. My hubby was and is extremely supportive. We had our doubts but also felt that we needed to give this a shot. Before deciding, we also talked to my general practitioner, my brother-in-law who is an infectious disease doctor, our daughter who is in veterinary medicine, and most recently my auto-immune specialist. All 3.5 doctors (Madi takes her Board exams in December 2023 so I gave her 1/2 point!🙂) were very concerned about the treatment, the side effects of the supplements and IVs to my current prescription medications, my overall health with all the changes, and even more relevant…they did not agree with the interpretations of the results. They agreed that there were minor variances in the results, but nothing that would be a red flag or serious issue. Even after all these discussions, we said YES to the plan, but the struggle was not over.
Within days of accepting the plan, I was having increased anxiety and tearful days over the decision. I was worried about what my doctors told me. I was worried about managing all the changes. And I was worried about the cost. My heart was not at ease. On Monday morning, May 15th, I was praying and crying out to God about this situation. My laments consisted of the following:
Lord, you know I have been praying.
Lord, I know many others have been praying for me too.
Lord, I know you hear us, but why can’t I hear you and your direction in this?
Lord, how can I hear your voice in this? Help me hear you!
Lord, tell me what to do!
While these prayers, cries, and pleas were exiting my mouth, out-of-the-blue, I remembered the story above…The Drowning Man. And then I had an Ah-Ha thought…God sent me three and a half rescuers; three and a half rescuers who are not affiliated with each other; three and a half rescuers who are all saying the same thing.
“Is this You, Jesus? Is this You talking to me through the Holy Spirit in my soul? Is this You who brought to mind this story in the middle of my prayer and cries for discernment?”I believe it was.
I cancelled the treatment plan the very next day.
I truly believe that if the new treatment was right for ME at this time then I would be at more peace. Two days later, after cancelling the plan, I can say that the heaviness on my heart and mind is gone. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you to all who were praying for me in this decision. We still have more decisions to make regarding changes in my medicine. And we are seeking a second opinion due to the advice of my auto-immune specialist. And you can bet that I will be listening intently for the Holy Spirit’s nudges with future paths!
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please respond in the Comments section below.)
What are you currently wrestling with?
How can we be praying for you?
If you are struggling to hear God’s whispers and feel His nudges through the Spirit, have you cried out to Him to help you hear Him? If not, take a moment to do so now. He desires to move you, love you, and lead you.
“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
During the month of April 2023, my husband and I rented a condo in Palm Coast, Florida. We transplanted ourselves into a new environment, new community and new rhythms for our month away from Indiana. Whenever I have been to a beach area, I am consumed by the sounds, sights and sands of the ocean. I am able to feel my spirit soar and my imagination rise like the tide. The rhythm of my day changes to accommodate the need to be connected to God through the sand and the sea, the roar and tumble of the waves, and the rise and fall of the tide.
This trip was no different, other than the fact that I had 30 glorious days to listen to the ocean, praise God with the roar of the waves, and let my prayers soar with the seagulls. Each morning I read from the Psalms out load while sitting on the beach or on the deck of the condo. I gasped, smiled and laughed in awe when the words sounded like the cries of my own heart (Psalm 16, Choose Joy). I lifted my hands in the air with words of praise (Psalm 103). And sometimes, I sat quietly reflecting on the cries of distress from the Psalmist, wondering how I would respond in the same circumstances (Psalm 59).
READING THROUGH THE PSALMS
This rhythm of reading the Psalms each morning was new to me. I have been reminded frequently of the power and emotion found in the Psalms during sermons, Bible studies, podcasts and blog posts. But before this trip, I did not have a regular system or plan to spend time in this Book of the Bible on a regular basis. However, I wanted this to be part of my opening prayer to God each morning on this trip. I brainstormed my own ideas and read through some suggestions online. Here are a few of the ideas to consider if you would like to join me in this daily practice.
Method #1: Since there are 150 psalms in the Book of Psalms, then reading five consecutive chapters each day will allow you to finish the Book in 30 days. For those months that have 31 days, then you will have either a rest day or a catch up day at the end before beginning the next month. For the month of February, you will need to read a few more chapters on some of the days to end on time.
Method #2: Create a Psalms Reading Jar. Use 150 popsicle sticks (or pieces of paper), and number them 1 through 150 with a marker. Put the sticks/paper in a jar. Each morning draw five sticks and read the chapters corresponding to each number. Don’t replace the sticks into the jar until the end of the month when you are ready to start a new month. You may also use a second jar to hold the sticks that you have already completed. This might be a fun project to make as a family if you want to read along with kids or grandkids.
Method #3:
Since the chapters of the Psalms tend to stand alone, I decided to read five chapters a day using the following system:
I like this method because I can use the date to remind me my starting Psalm for the day, then I keep adding 30 to that number until I reach the end of the Book. (For example, on May 1st, I read Psalm 1, then 31, then 61, then 91 and finally 121. Does that make sense?)
“You make known to me the path of life;
You will fill me with JOY in Your presence,
with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.” (emphasis mine)
Frequently, I found myself especially drawn to specific verses of the Psalmists within one of the chapters. I used the verses as the basis for my prayer at the end of my time with Jesus each day. (I will close this post today by praying Psalm 16:11 below.) I hope this helps and motivates you to walk through the Psalms as part of your scripture reading. Jump in today or start on the first day of the next month. Either way, the time you spend in the Word of God will change you and grow your faith by not only understanding God’s character better, but also allowing His love wash over you through His words…reminding you of your value and worth. You are known, cherished and loved completely by Jesus. You are perfect just the way you are, my Friends.
PRAYER:
Abba, Father. You know me completely. You reveal to me each day the path and plan for my life. Help me respond to your nudges, Jesus. You fill me with JOY just by being a beloved child of Yours. Regardless of what I am going through in my daily life, I know that I am Yours always and You will be with me always here on earth and through eternity. I choose YOU, God, and therefore I CHOOSE JOY in all things. Amen.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER:
Do you read through the Psalms regularly? If so, what is your method? Please share in the comments below.
What is your favorite Psalm?
Consider sending a note to a friend or family member who needs some encouragement. Write your favorite verse(s) from the Psalms on a card, in a text, or in an email and send it to them. Allow the love of Jesus to work through you to lighten the path and show love for one another.
Hello, Sweet Circle of Friends. My husband and I have been on-the-go for the last six weeks…from March 16th to May 1st. I was concerned about the stress of it all in early March with planes, drives, moving, coordinating, etc. But God brought the best of it all! In all the moments, I continued to CHOOSE JOY. Sometimes I succeeded and I saw the blessings in the little things. Sometimes I missed the mark and my emotions were in control. With each new day, or even each new hour of the day, I worked towards finding the JOY. The JOY was occasionally as small as watching a butterfly flip through the air or as grand as celebrating my medical test results…even if the results were not what I wanted to hear. The JOY was in the mere fact that we have results. I no longer have to wonder and I can focus on the next steps. A summary of my blessings for each adventure are below.
WASHINGTON D.C – March 16 – March 21
My first excursion was to Washington D.C. to help our son and daughter-in-law move from Columbia, Maryland, to Washington D.C. I flew. My husband drove. We had three days of boxing things up, taking apart furniture, driving the hour back and forth with loads of items in our cars and in the moving truck, unloading, unboxing and re-assembling the furniture. It was crazy, but so exciting at the same time. By the time I left on Tuesday, we had virtually everything unpacked and in it’s place. We were only lacking a few more plants to brighten up the spare bedroom/office and a bit of the office equipment to unpack and set up.
What were the blessings in the trip to D.C.?
I felt blessed to be with Mitch and Shannon as well as Shannon’s mom over the long weekend!
I was relieved at our progress with the move. I was joyful knowing that Mitch and Shannon would have the least possible disruptions in their busy lives.
My heart was happy to know that Mitch and Shannon were in a safer community.
I love their new place and the area. It is walkable to so many things including several coffee shops :-), restaurants, shopping, Union Station, and all the sites of D.C. The row house is adorable with so much character.
They are closer to their church, small group community, public transportation for school/work, and friends.
We all had safe travels to and from D.C. as well as multiple trips between the apartment and row house.
We were able to worship together at their church in D.C. Always fantastic!
Thank you, Jesus, for a the opportunity to be able to help them and for great conversation and memories during this hectic move.
CORVALIS, OREGON – March 24 – March 29
Two days after returning from D.C. I flew to Corvalis, Oregon, to see my daughter Madi over her spring break. She was feeling burned-out from classes and exams, and we both needed some downtime. We enjoyed balancing our chores with some much needed rest. So we tackled one action along with a bit of fun and rest each day. It was a perfect getaway to see my Madi-girl and get her ready for the last term of her 3rd year of Vet School.
What were the blessings in the trip to Oregon?
I was blessed to be able to fly to Oregon and see my daughter!
We have a tradition that every time I come we rearrange her bedroom. We did this the first two days. It was so rewarding to see the new perspective and know that we were changing things just enough to make the new term feel like a fresh start. I loved helping to make her vision come to life.
I enjoyed meal-prepping so she was stocked with some healthy, favorite food choices.
We went to her church together for an amazing praise and worship experience! Always uplifting to see the familiar faces and powerful service!
I was blessed that one of Madi’s small group members prayed over me and my health at the service.
I was blessed to spend time with my daughter. No matter what we did…whether it was a project, craft, chore, or just rest, she was and is a bright light in my life.
PALM COAST, FORIDA – March 31 – May 1
WOW!!! What an experience! Pat and I have never taken a month to get away from the Indiana cold weather and work remotely. This was our first time to do this and first time in Palm Coast. We found a condo in Palm Coast on VRBO and decided to GO FOR IT! We booked it 14 months in advance and had a year to save up and prepare. Not only did we go on this trip, but we took our 75 lb. dog…Grizzly…with us! It was amazing!!! We loved it and we will definitely do this again! AS a matter of fact…we ARE doing this again in the exact same condo for April 2024!
What were the blessings in Palm Coast, Florida?
I loved the quality time with my loving, wonderful husband on the drive and throughout the month.
I felt so connected with our Creator God on my walks along the beach with Grizzly.
I loved being surrounded by the roar of the waves on the beach while doing my Bible study at sunrise.
We were blessed with terrific views of the ocean and golf course around us.
We were blessed to share this experience with friends and family who stayed with us during part of the trip.
Finally, one of the most powerful experiences in my life was finding and connecting with Lifecoast Church Bible Crafters. The women of this group…my sisters in Christ…welcomed me, adopted me into their group, listened to me, and shared with me the love of Christ and the love of crafting. There are no words to express the impact they had and still have on me. I can’t wait to see their beautiful faces again in April 2024! Love you all, sweet Sisters!
” A journey is best measured in FRIENDS, rather than MILES.”
~Tim Cahill
The last nine days back in Indiana have been filled with reflection, praises and prayers for the people and experiences on these three trips. I treasure the memories we made together with old friends, new friends, and family. I am grateful for the opportunities to see our children. And I am blessed and amazed at how I saw God’s plan in action by leading me to the Lifecoast Church and Lifecoast Bible Crafters. You all amaze me and I love seeing the light of Jesus in your eyes and actions.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share your thoughts in the comments below.)
Are you traveling this summer? Where and what are your plans while there?
If not, what might you consider exploring locally to build new memories and meet new people?
Who was the last new friend you made and how might God have been working in that encounter?
Did you know that most people make a New Year’s resolution every year without fail? And yet every year most of those resolutions do fail. Statistics state that over 70% of people break their New Year’s resolution by the beginning of March. Yikes! So by today, the beginning of March, many people have given up and moved on without their resolution in mind.
Some year’s ago I stopped making New Year’s resolutions because I was always one of the 70%. I decided to look at the year as an opportunity to select seasonal or annual focal points. It’s not an all-or-nothing goal or a big aspiration or a workout that takes lots of time or energy. The focal points for me are do-able steps I can take in my daily life that add up to change my perspective or improve my outlook or increase my knowledge. There are no deadlines or requirements or specific actions. The focal points inspire me and allow me to be creative within their parameters. Here are some of my focal points for 2023:
# 1: CHOOSE JOY – Annual
After the last two year’s of battling health issues that frequently caused anxiety or depression, I decided that I wanted to make an effort in my decisions and circumstances to CHOOSE JOY, no matter the circumstances. This phrase became such a powerful message for me to overcome my anxiety and change my perspective that I wanted a permanent, daily reminder to focus on God’s joy. So I got a tatoo! Not only did I want to remember to CHOOSE JOY, but I also wanted to remember that I will grow in my trust and faith in the power of Jesus in my life by doing so….that is the purpose of the vine symbol of the tatoo. What are you changing this year to help you focus on the positive elements of your day?
Designed and completed by Samielle Foltz in Carmel, Indiana.
“Do not grieve. For the JOY of the Lord is my strength.” (emphasis mine)
# 2: WIN FOR THE DAY – Annual
Focusing on my WIN FOR THE DAY has also given me an opportunity to end each day processing the good that has happened in my life. My daily points of gratitude. I write these in a little journal called the Panda Planner. It is the perfect format to record what I was grateful for, what was my WIN for the day, what were my priorities and schedule as well as white space to expand on the positive elements. I also record prayer requests for my friends, family, community, and the world. This focal point keeps my mind off myself and allows me to praise God for the my WINs. Since starting this, I have found multiple WINs each day, and I have seen the impact on my attitude. What is your WIN for the day?
# 3: LEARN A NEW CRAFT or TECHNIQUE – Seasonal
I have a passion for learning. Truly. I think I could spend every day, all day, reading, DIYing, crafting, researching all sorts of things. I love to learn new crafts, new facts, and new DIY gift ideas! Each quarter I try to find something new to learn or engage with for a challenge. I believe it is good for my emotional health and mental health to continually expand my talents, activities, and knowledge. These challenges bring me joy even if I discover some of them are NOT activities I want to keep doing! Last year I taught myself…along with the amazing Toni Lipsey from TLYarnCrafts…to Tunisian crochet. I also re-engaged with how to handmake greeting cards with paper and some simple tools with my dear friend Jill Pegram, a Stampin’ Up consultant. Finally, my daughter taught me the basics of watercolor painting and my daughter-in-law gifted me the tools to do it on my own. So far this year I have learned two new crochet stitches and spent some time learning about St. Augustine, FL…the oldest city in the country. What was the latest craft you learned or the latest fun fact?
My latest new stitch…the Star Stitch! I am making this blanket as part of my service group called Graceful Hands Go Group. We knit, crochet and sew for charity. This will go to a foster care ministry that provides items for kids in foster care.
I made this blanket to donate to an organization that supports foster kids.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share your responses in the Comments section below.)
What motivates you?
What do you do to alleviate boredom?
What is a new craft or skill you have learned?
What are your focal points for 2023?
What are your techniques or tools that you use to focus on gratitude and positive thinking?
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
PRAYER: Abba, Father, you are an awesome, creative God. You created us uniquely yet at the same time orchestrated our lives and our callings to blend together and support each other. We all have things to do, to learn, to serve and to give. We all have trials yet each day brings blessings too. We only need to open our eyes and sometimes change our perspective to see the blessings. Lord, don’t let us miss these moments and the people that bring them. Help us reflect and process the positive elements and choose joy in all circumstances. Amen!
God whispered to me, “That’s your win.” My response, “Wait. What?? What’s my win?”
Can you imagine? This was the exchange I felt in my soul on Tuesday, February 21, 2023, while I was walking my dog, Grizzly. Let me back up to the events on Monday, February 20th…
On Monday, February 20th, I had my second, annual, ophthalmology appointment with my eye doctor to check for signs of progress of my autoimmune disease spreading to my eyes. It was supposed to be a quick, 15-minute appointment. However, my doctor quickly changed the plans for my appointment when he saw that I was on a medication that has a side effect of causing blindness. I had forgotten that I was switched to this medicine after my last appointment. He was extremely attentive, caring and flexible that other tests had to be run and he did not want me to leave before we had a complete understanding of my eye health.
My quick 15 minute, in-and-out appointment turned into two hours! After several scans, peripheral tests, cross section scans of my eyes, etc. the doctor gave me a perfect report on my right eye. He said that my right eye was in perfect health with everything where it should be and nothing added! Then he said to me, “Now, for your left eye.” Pause…. I thought, “Hmmm, this intro does not sound so good.”
He pulled out the cross-section picture of my left eye and showed me the results. Three obvious lumps were visible on the cross-section. He said, “These lumps are not supposed to be there.” He reviewed the three potential causes for the lumps with me.
First, it could be the result of the medication. He said it would be extremely rare for the medication to make a change to the eye this fast. If it did, it would normally effect both eyes at the same time not just the one.
Second, it could be the start of macular degeneration. He said if I was over 75 years old then he would positively diagnose macular degeneration. However, being only 53 years old, this disease would also be rare to develop this early.
Third, he said he had no idea what the cause was at this point.
Since this was my first, baseline exam with the tests performed, he had no other results to compare to my current status. He suggested we wait a year and retest to see how quickly the lumps are changing, if at all. He advised that I stay on my current medication at this time.
After discussing the lumps, the doctor mentioned that his second concern was my dosage of medication. He said I was taking double the amount of milligrams than was recommended by the FDA based on my weight. He said that my risk of experiencing negative side effects involving my sight was much higher since I was on such a high dosage. He recommended that I immediately reduce my medication to the recommended amount. Thankfully, he was proactive to say that he would immediately write my prescribing doctor a letter advising her of the recommended dosage change. Unfortunately, that may mean that my autoimmune symptoms with spike again.
The combination of these two new data points on my health caused me to experience a bit of increased anxiety for the rest of the day. My thoughts were swirling around the following statements:
Really?? More issues?
Will I lose my sight?
Is this macular degeneration or something else?
How long do I have before I notice my sight changing?
Is it reversible?
Why am I on the wrong dose of medication?
If I change my medicine dosage will my autoimmune flare up again?
Will I be able to tolerate additional pain and sores?
You get the picture…Now the good stuff!
The next morning I was walking my Grizzly-bear for our daily, 5:00 a.m., power walk around the subdivision. I had been practicing silence, solitude and prayer on our daily walks for about a week. At the end of my prayer-time before I was silent to listen for Him, I had been asking God to speak to me, nudge me, or impress something on me. So far, each day I came away feeling that God chose not to say anything. On this Tuesday morning, after I poured out my questions to Him and asked for patience and comfort regarding this new eye issue. I also asked Him to please say something to me. Anything. I really wanted and needed to hear Him. In the moments that followed this cry for a response, I felt the impression of the Spirit say to me, “That’s your win.” My response, “Wait. What?? What’s my win?” You see, for 2023, I decided to find a WIN each day during this difficult season of health issues. I wanted to choose the positive side of life and find a WIN each day…no matter how large or small. I wanted to be grateful for all that I had and all that God was doing through me, for me and with me.
I thought back on what I had just prayed about…my eye, my stress, my questions. And I heard again in my spirit, “Yes. That’s your win.“
I felt like I heard God telling me, “I revealed this issue to you. That is your WIN. You never would have known this was a problem or a new concern had I not revealed it to you. Now, you know and now you can work together with your doctors to deal with this and treat it ,if needed. That’s your WIN for Monday.”
Immediately, I spoke words of joy, gratitude and praise into the silence of the early morning with only my sweet, loyal dog to hear me. Nothing else had changed in my circumstances or the results except my own attitude and perspective. The doctor made room for me that very morning to do the necessary tests on my eyes. I did not have to reschedule or wait for a longer slot to complete the tests. We found our answers that same day and had a plan that same day. God helped me see that I was choosing to feel anxiety over this situation rather than experiencing His blessing in it. I am blessed that we caught it early, and we know what to look out for now. He opened my eyes to see Him in this situation. My tiny shift in perspective resulted in an enormous shift in my attitude from anxiety to joy. Thank you, Jesus.
The lesson that I hope I never forget from this hour alone with God on Tuesday, February 21, 2023, between 5:00-6:00 a.m. is that I have a choice. I have the ability to choose joy in my day, to look for Him in even the smallest of events, and to remind myself that a change in perspective has the ability to move me from anxiety to gratitude.
And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.
~1 Kings 19:12
Thanks for listening, Sweet Circle, I pray that you too may find joy in each day, that you find your WINs, and you see God moving in your life.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
I was walking my dog Grizzly this week early in the morning, and I was shocked at the strength of the wind. It pushed against us constantly, blowing between 20 and 25 mph. The wind flapped Grizzly ears and whipped my hair in all directions. In the quiet of the morning during our walk, I reflected on how the qualities of the wind remind me of the presence of God and also my faith in Him.
The wind that morning was powerful, physical, and constantly present. I could not see it but there was no doubt that the wind was real. I contemplated how the force of the wind had the potential to be gentle and soothing as in the light breezes that flow off the ocean water, or the wind that tickles the stalks in the fields of corn, or the breezes that brush through our yards and playgrounds. It soothes us from the heat of a summer day on the beach, or at a ball field, or when we are working in our yard. Yet it can also be very violent and destructive to everything in its path such as in a tornado. Either way, the effects of the unseen wind are evident. Just as the effects of our unseen God are evident.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
We have proof in the stories of the Bible and in our own lives where God’s presence may feel like a gentle breeze or a violent gust of the wind, at different times. Jesus shows His gentle side in His compassion and care for the sinners, the lost, and the hurting. He also shows His might in the correction we experience through the consequences of our actions. Yet this correction is meant to remind us of our need for Him. He desires a loving relationship with us and for us to turn our lives back to him in faith and trust… not to harm us and turn us away. His correction is similar, yet even more pure, than a parent correcting and disciplining their child in the hopes that they will stop their harmful behavior. God is good. He loves us. He wants the best for us and His kingdom!
I have felt God’s presence in the midst of my troubles. My obstacles may not go away but they also will not last forever. If left on my own, I would more likely be freaking out and obsessed with myself and my issues. However, the peace and strength that I feel in the midst of my trials come from the Lord. And when I fix my gaze on the Lord, I experience renewed hope and faith in the unseen God and my eternal future with Him.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
I am so thankful that the God promises me that He will stand with me through my trials, and He offers me the gifts of the Holy Spirit in me…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
God may not be visible to my human eyes, but just like the wind, He is real, present and powerful. His promises are ETERNAL. His will is FINAL. And His glory, love , mercy, and grace are INFINITE! Praise God. He is calling us to His kingdom and His forgiveness. He promises forgiveness and a home in eternity with Him. Let’s take hold of it and be free of our bondage to the world.
PRAYER:
Abba, Father. You are my Father, my Creator, and my Savior. You are powerful and present. Just as the wind is invisible yet present, so are you unseen to my human eyes yet present in my life. You offer us grace, love beyond our understanding, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice on our behalf and our home with you in eternity. Amen.
QUESTIONS / IDEAS TO PONDER:
How have you “seen” the unseen God move in your life?
Write out Matthew 11:28-30. Read through it a few times. What word or phrase stands out to you? Why do you think this word or phrase is important to you at this time in your life?
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