Hello, Sweet Circle of Friends. Last week, I was on my second Silent Retreat. It wasn’t at a conference center or hotel or hermitage. I found this little gem on AirBnB in December 2021. It has been my own little miracle from God. It is a tiny, little house that sits in a tiny, little, boutique town next to a not-so-tiny walking trail that stretches for miles and miles. The house has been completely gutted and remodeled, and it is chucked full of charm with all the personal touches from the owner, Randa. I LOVE the house and I LOVE times I have spent with God there.
Last week was no exception. I had 36 hours of silence and solitude to pray, read, walk the trails, and listen for God’s nudges. I rested and napped too! It was divine. During my time of silence and solitude, I am completely unplugged from the world. I have all electronics off…not just silent, but OFF. No TV…no radio…no phone…no computer…no kindle… no talking. You get the point. It was just me, my Bible, my favorite pen & journal, my study books (paper), the lovely outdoors and, most importantly, chatting with our loving God.
I felt God drawing me towards two topics last week. They were topics that came up during my recent sessions with my amazing counselor Kim. (Counseling is great, my Friends. I highly encourage it!) One of the topics was my need for deep friendships. We all need deep, friendships. People we can call up at any time because we lost our job or found an amazing deal at Target or feel guilty because we snapped at our kids or just need a shoulder to cry or laugh on and we don’t even know why.
I read and discovered some great nuggets on friendship during my time with God and the resources that I took with me. I wanted to share just a few of the nuggets with you.
The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship by Jonathan Holmes
- “Adam needed community in order to better image the God who is community. He was created to pursue, develop, and maintain human relationships as an integral part of being made in the image of the triune God.” (page 20)
- “Biblical friendship is intended by God as an all-encompassing spiritual discipline that engages every aspect of who we are: how we think (cognition), feel (emotion), and act (volition).” (pages 31-32)
- “Biblical friendship is developed organically. It takes patience, commitment, and liberal applications of grace.” (page 61)
- “We need to live with a mindset that resists substituting technology for friendship or chitchat for conversation.” (page 67)
Time, patience and grace are so critical for deep friendships. In order to grow deeper in relationship with another person, it takes TIME together…face to face. Living life together and communicating from the deepest places of our hearts. This takes PATIENCE too in order to give each other space to share without our comments, judgements or advice. I am reminded that we have to be vulnerable to be authentic and real for the other person. We have to go into those conversations with the attitude that we will open up first. Once we do, the other person is likely to share her own personal experiences, both encouraging and challenging.
None of us are perfect. We all have flaws and wounds. When we only talk about the surface stuff or the good times, then we are not revealing who we really are. We are not fooling anyone! If anything, sharing only the good and avoiding the challenging may actually push others away rather than drawing them closer. We will also hurt our friends from time to time due to our flaws, imperfections, and past wounds. We will say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. Rather than run away or write them off during the challenges, we need to offer GRACE and allow for communication, clarification and forgiveness to grow closer and move on together.
When we share from the personal and tender places of our hearts, the seeds for deeper friendships are planted in ripe soil to prepare for future growth. The time spent together and continued honest and open conversation will allow those seeds to grow and flourish. God created us for relationship. He wants us to experience the benefits and fulfilment of the bonds shared with others as well as Him in all forms just like His own bonds with His Son and Holy Spirit.
“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”
~ Proverbs 27: 9
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: Questions I am asking myself too!
- Who are your closest friends?
- Are you able to pore out your heart with them? Call them at anytime for even the smallest things?
- If not, why do you think that is?
- Challenge: Call a friend and set up a girls night out!
PRAYER: Dear Lord, thank you for our friends. For the people we are able to share life together, grow closer to You together, and hold each other up when we are falling. We are stronger together, Lord, especially with you at the center. Help us remember to nourish these relationships with our time, patience, and grace towards one another. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Hugs & blessings,
Stacy
Recent Comments