In my quiet time this morning, I was reflecting on a conversation yesterday with my counselor. I discussed with her that I am struggling with anxiety and coping with current trials. Not only was I anxious but I was feeling guilty about my anxiety. “I have decided this year I will CHOOSE JOY in all circumstances,” I stated. “So why can I not do that? Why am I still anxious?” I told her that some days I feel overwhelmed and less successful at focusing on the JOY. I know God has blessed me and provided for me over the years in many ways. But the JOY seems to evade me and the anxiety seems to surround me. Am I the only one who feels this way at times?
I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit did not leave me in that place of confusion and guilt. My quiet time this morning was not just a reflection on the turmoil of emotions that I was feeling yesterday. It was also a time of wisdom, great healing and hope. Multiple resources seemed to acknowledge my feelings, affirm my humanity, weakness and sin, and point me to the strength and protection of God when I feel vulnerable, anxious and unsure.
GOD-MOMENT #1: I am reading the book Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado. In the first chapter I read today, I was struck by multiple ideas that seemed to jump off the page and say to me, “I HEAR YOU! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!” The quote below described exactly how I felt yesterday with my counselor – anxious and guilty for the anxiety.
“One would think Christians would be exempt from worry. But we are not. We have been taught that the Christian life is a life of peace, and when we don’t have peace, we assume the problem lies within us. Not only do we feel anxious, but we also feel guilty about our anxiety! The result is a downward spiral of worry, guilt, worry, guilt.” ~ Max Lucado, Anxious for Nothing
Max also reminded me that swirling anxiety and guilt and more anxiety and guilt can lead to sinful behavior. When anxiety is left unchecked and festers in our hearts with self-blame and guilt causing even more anxiety, it may lead to more damaging behaviors to find control such as alcohol abuse, binge eating, excessive shopping, food denial, anger or a number of other responses. This addictive behavior may result in even more hurt, trauma, and isolation. It is a form of idolatry, where we substitute behaviors and feelings to help us rather than turning to God to help us. One path leads to destruction while the other leads to hope and healing.
Not only were my feelings of guilt and anxiety acknowledged and affirmed, but I was also reminded of another quote mentioned by my counselor yesterday which leads me to God-Moment #2…
GOD-MOMENT #2: My counselor mentioned the following statement: “Addiction is an issue of worship.” This lead me to the second resource, courtesy of Dr. Google, by Edward T. Welch in the book Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave: Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel.
“Addiction is ultimately an issue of worship. We worship something other than God. Relationships, a substance, a feeling, a person. Addiction, whatever the substance, is ultimately an issue of idolatry. God says, ‘Don’t have other Gods before me,’ and we choose something other than Him.” ~ Edward T. Welch from Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave: Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel
Oh boy! This hits home. I have had issues with a food-denial additions in the past…about 20 years ago, specifically. I know the thought-processes and the behaviors. I understand the negative thinking and self-criticism. I know what it means to put emotions, feelings and behaviors in the lime-light rather than God as my Creator, Jesus as my Savior, and the Holy Spirit as my Protector. I have been there and don’t want to go back. I see the warning signals and desire for control.
BUT…oh how I love the word BUT in these situations…I also was reminded that I am NOT alone! I was not meant to get through this life by myself. I am not in the battle as the only warrior. I have others and I have my God to help me. I am known, loved and created wonderfully by God. Jesus already took the penalty for my sin. And the Holy Spirit is by my side and protecting me from evil, guiding me through the rough waters and reminding me that I am loved…dearly loved. I am loved not only by God but by my community of believers, my friends and my family.
What great wisdom and reminder for being prepared and on the watch for enemy to take hold of me.
GOD-MOMENT #3: With all this in my head, I turned to my reading of the Psalms for today…Psalm 31, 91, and 121. And God met with my in Psalm 121. All of the confusion, anxiety, guilt, alone-ness, and fear of anxiety-escalation lead me to this glorious Truth…
Psalm 121: My Help Comes from the Lord
1 I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
3 He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.
5 The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.
My help comes from the Lord. YOUR help comes from the Lord. He will not let us stumble. He will watch over us continually. He will stand beside us as our protector always. Rest in the arms of the Lord. Seek His forgiveness, confess your sin, and accept Him as your Savior, Protector, and Guide.
PRAYER:
Thank you, Jesus, for this Truth. Thank you for the timing of your Word and the other resources you used to speak into my life and my anxiety. Thank you for this message hold in my heart as my prayer to you and my reminder of your faithfulness. My hope is in You, Lord. My strength is in You, Lord. My protection is from You, Lord. Help me remember where my hope and strength and protection comes from on the days I forget. You are a merciful and gracious God and I love You. Help me obey You and follow You all the days of my life. Amen.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please add your voice to the comments as an encouragement to others.)
- Where do you turn, other than God, when you are fighting for control?
- How has God reminded you of His presence and His desire to be your one and only God?
- What is your story of overcoming an anxiety or addiction by the power of God and your community of support?
Hugs & Blessings to you, Sweet Circle,
Stacy
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