Life’s Journey #12 – God whispered, “That’s your win.”

by | Feb 26, 2023 | Life's Journey | 4 comments

God whispered to me, “That’s your win.” My response, “Wait. What?? What’s my win?”

Can you imagine? This was the exchange I felt in my soul on Tuesday, February 21, 2023, while I was walking my dog, Grizzly. Let me back up to the events on Monday, February 20th…

On Monday, February 20th, I had my second, annual, ophthalmology appointment with my eye doctor to check for signs of progress of my autoimmune disease spreading to my eyes. It was supposed to be a quick, 15-minute appointment. However, my doctor quickly changed the plans for my appointment when he saw that I was on a medication that has a side effect of causing blindness. I had forgotten that I was switched to this medicine after my last appointment. He was extremely attentive, caring and flexible that other tests had to be run and he did not want me to leave before we had a complete understanding of my eye health.

My quick 15 minute, in-and-out appointment turned into two hours! After several scans, peripheral tests, cross section scans of my eyes, etc. the doctor gave me a perfect report on my right eye. He said that my right eye was in perfect health with everything where it should be and nothing added! Then he said to me, “Now, for your left eye.” Pause…. I thought, “Hmmm, this intro does not sound so good.”

He pulled out the cross-section picture of my left eye and showed me the results. Three obvious lumps were visible on the cross-section. He said, “These lumps are not supposed to be there.” He reviewed the three potential causes for the lumps with me.

  • First, it could be the result of the medication. He said it would be extremely rare for the medication to make a change to the eye this fast. If it did, it would normally effect both eyes at the same time not just the one.

  • Second, it could be the start of macular degeneration. He said if I was over 75 years old then he would positively diagnose macular degeneration. However, being only 53 years old, this disease would also be rare to develop this early.

  • Third, he said he had no idea what the cause was at this point.

Since this was my first, baseline exam with the tests performed, he had no other results to compare to my current status. He suggested we wait a year and retest to see how quickly the lumps are changing, if at all. He advised that I stay on my current medication at this time.

After discussing the lumps, the doctor mentioned that his second concern was my dosage of medication. He said I was taking double the amount of milligrams than was recommended by the FDA based on my weight. He said that my risk of experiencing negative side effects involving my sight was much higher since I was on such a high dosage. He recommended that I immediately reduce my medication to the recommended amount. Thankfully, he was proactive to say that he would immediately write my prescribing doctor a letter advising her of the recommended dosage change. Unfortunately, that may mean that my autoimmune symptoms with spike again.

The combination of these two new data points on my health caused me to experience a bit of increased anxiety for the rest of the day. My thoughts were swirling around the following statements:

  • Really?? More issues?

  • Will I lose my sight?

  • Is this macular degeneration or something else?

  • How long do I have before I notice my sight changing?

  • Is it reversible?

  • Why am I on the wrong dose of medication?

  • If I change my medicine dosage will my autoimmune flare up again?

  • Will I be able to tolerate additional pain and sores?

You get the picture…Now the good stuff!

The next morning I was walking my Grizzly-bear for our daily, 5:00 a.m., power walk around the subdivision. I had been practicing silence, solitude and prayer on our daily walks for about a week. At the end of my prayer-time before I was silent to listen for Him, I had been asking God to speak to me, nudge me, or impress something on me. So far, each day I came away feeling that God chose not to say anything. On this Tuesday morning, after I poured out my questions to Him and asked for patience and comfort regarding this new eye issue. I also asked Him to please say something to me. Anything. I really wanted and needed to hear Him. In the moments that followed this cry for a response, I felt the impression of the Spirit say to me, “That’s your win.” My response, “Wait. What?? What’s my win?” You see, for 2023, I decided to find a WIN each day during this difficult season of health issues. I wanted to choose the positive side of life and find a WIN each day…no matter how large or small. I wanted to be grateful for all that I had and all that God was doing through me, for me and with me.

I thought back on what I had just prayed about…my eye, my stress, my questions. And I heard again in my spirit, “Yes. That’s your win.“

I felt like I heard God telling me, “I revealed this issue to you. That is your WIN. You never would have known this was a problem or a new concern had I not revealed it to you. Now, you know and now you can work together with your doctors to deal with this and treat it ,if needed. That’s your WIN for Monday.”

Immediately, I spoke words of joy, gratitude and praise into the silence of the early morning with only my sweet, loyal dog to hear me. Nothing else had changed in my circumstances or the results except my own attitude and perspective. The doctor made room for me that very morning to do the necessary tests on my eyes. I did not have to reschedule or wait for a longer slot to complete the tests. We found our answers that same day and had a plan that same day. God helped me see that I was choosing to feel anxiety over this situation rather than experiencing His blessing in it. I am blessed that we caught it early, and we know what to look out for now. He opened my eyes to see Him in this situation. My tiny shift in perspective resulted in an enormous shift in my attitude from anxiety to joy. Thank you, Jesus.

The lesson that I hope I never forget from this hour alone with God on Tuesday, February 21, 2023, between 5:00-6:00 a.m. is that I have a choice. I have the ability to choose joy in my day, to look for Him in even the smallest of events, and to remind myself that a change in perspective has the ability to move me from anxiety to gratitude.

And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

~1 Kings 19:12

Thanks for listening, Sweet Circle, I pray that you too may find joy in each day, that you find your WINs, and you see God moving in your life.

Hugs and blessings,

Stacy

Life’s Journey #11: Where Did She Go? Time Flies By…

by | Jan 31, 2023 | Life's Journey | 0 comments

Hello, Sweet Circle!  You may have been wondering…”Where did she go?”  And that would be a completely appropriate question to ponder.  My last post was 8/23/2022.  I am shocked by how long ago that was.  Bottomline:  Life took hold of me with both hands, and I was overwhelmed!  Have you ever felt this way? I know the feeling too, and I am here to share that, “It’s okay!” Sometimes this happens and we just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and lift up our prayers ever minute, if necessary!

Here were some of the things that happened to me:

  • In August 2022, I was made aware that the IN Department of Revenue was going to perform an audit of both our businesses in October 2022. I went back to work full-time to prepare for the audit. UPDATE: That is still going on and we are hoping to receive our reports from the audit in March 2023.
  • September 2022, I went to Oregon to spend two glorious weeks with my daughter. My Hubby was there for the last week. She was in-between terms in Veterinary School at Oregon State University. We had an amazing time visiting, crafting, and traveling to Crater Lake…BEAUTIFUL!
  • October 2022, My Hubby and I went to Columbia, MD, to visit our son and daughter-in-law. We saw their new apartment. We visited Johns Hopkins University where Mitch is going to grad school. We went to a Purdue football game at University of Maryland. We went to an apple orchard for the fall picking. And we had an amazing time being with them too.
  • November and December 2022 were a blur with the holidays.
  • Through all of this…I had several relapses with severe break-outs of my autoimmune disease…Cicatricial Pemphigoid…due to stress and anxiety. This took a toll on my health. My stress, increased anxiety and depression, and insomnia were in full swing. Yikes!!

So, I needed to take a break to continue to have margin for rest, yarn-therapy and soul-care. God is GOOD, and met me in my trials. I was never alone. He continued to provide strength for me and hope for new treatment. My family and friends continued to support me, pray for me, and listen when I needed to vent. I am truly blessed. I am praying that you have people you can lean on too, when life seems out of control. Just remember…God is always in control!

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

~ Psalm 73:26

“The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? “

~Psalm 27:1 

BUT I MISSED YOU!! I missed writing to you, and I missed the chance to get to know all of you better.

I would love to hear from you!! Whether it’s a quick HELLO and introduction, a longer note to share your story, your favorite verse for encouragement, or anything else that is on your mind. Please COMMENT below or send me an email at stacy@stacyturley.com.

YOU are loved, valued and worthy!! Let’s stick together and support each other through our daily lives. I want to know you and pray for you too! Reach out, Friend. You are not alone and I can’t wait to hear from you!

Hugs and blessings,

Stacy Turley

Life’s Journey #10: The Results Are IN!

by | Aug 23, 2022 | Life's Journey | 0 comments

Hello, Friends. I asked for your prayers and support last week during my whirlwind of doctors’ appointments, and I THANK YOU for lifting me up. My appointments grew from four over two days to SIX over three days. Here is a summary…

Thursday, August 18th –

  • Audiologist for slight hearing loss
    • GREAT News! My hearing improved and the issues were due to swelling of my ear canal. We used antibiotic drops and my hearing returned to normal. I had no pain during this time. I had no idea my ear was irritated and swollen internally. Thank you, Jesus!
  • Orthopedic Surgeon for pain in my hips with a lovely limp to match
    • We have an answer! I have two strained muscles in two different locations. The left hip is a mid-glute muscle strain. The right hip is an upper IT band strain. So different locations of pain but both due to muscular issues. I have to cut back on high impact exercise. No running, jogging, or sharp changes of direction. Walking and elliptical machines are best for now. I am grateful it is NOT arthritis or anything more serious. Thank you, Jesus.

Friday, August 19th –

  • ADD ON Appt: Dentist for dental trays to soak my gums in a steriod gel to heal my blisters and help prevent more….at least that is the hope!
    • I love having another option in my cocktail of medicines to FIGHT Cicatricial Pemphigoid! The battle is not over and we keep fighting for a solution. God is GOOD!
  • Optometrist for a regular check up and vision test.  One of my meds may cause blindness so I have to get my eyes checked every three to four months. 
    • No serious issues, but my eye sight changed enough that new glasses are recommended. I cannot wear contacts so I love to shop for “new looks” with my glasses. I am trying something new and a little edgy…for me. That part is so fun!! Yay!!
  • Colon Surgeon…hmmm, nuff said!!
    • All is well now. Nuff said!

Monday, August 22nd –

  • ADD ON Appt: General Practitioner for increased anxiety and a few days of depression.
    • We have a plan! After a year and a half of trying to find a solution to control my autoimmune disease with little progress, my stress and anxiety has increased. I am currently on the lowest dose of anti-anxiety medication. So we will increase the dose and pray that it controls the anxiety which may be the cause of the bouts of depression. Thank you, Lord, for my understanding doctors and the medical assistance with these emotions.

Yes, I sometimes feel like this is a bummer that I have more and more ailments to keep track of and medicines to remember and food restrictions.  However, most of the time I am so grateful that God has blessed me with an amazing team of doctors to help monitor my ailments and provide solutions.  God is so good!!  I am never alone for I know Jesus is by my side through it all and I am grateful for the gifts and progress of medicine to help bring healing to so many people along with God’s power, strength and peace.

“Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” ~ Jeremiah 17:14

I would also like to pray for you!  Please leave a note in the Comments section if you have a prayer request.  I would be honored to lift you up in the name of Christ.  Amen, Sisters!

Hugs and blessings, Sweet Circle.

Stacy

Life’s Journey #9: Feeling My Age

by | Aug 16, 2022 | Life's Journey | 0 comments

Are there days when you can literally feel your age in your bones? The little creaks, pops, and pain? The sagging skin and weakening eyes? Do you feel sore after doing a chore or task that you have done for years and years and it never hurt before? Maybe you have a new ailment or diagnosis that leaves you wondering …where did this come from??

I am one of those people who absolutely LOVEs my birthday!! I love to celebrate the day that God brought me to the world. The first day of a new plan for His kingdom with me (and millions of others who were born on April 10th,) in mind. I have cherished each year of aging as a gift from God. Another 365 days to reflect on where God has shown Himself in my life and the lessons that I learned.

I normally take the day off of work. I like to celebrate “my day” by filling it with activities that bring me joy. These activities definitely start with COFFEE! I love to explore new coffee shops, find a quiet place to sit and knit, read, maybe get a facial, share a meal with a friend, and normally end with dinner with my hubby, Pat. Phone calls from my kids, my parents, my brothers, and my friends are part of the days smiles and warm fuzzies too!

At 53 years old, I am coming to realize that along with the celebration of the years since my birth, I also have a few unwelcomed guests…aches, pains, medications, more frequent doctors’ appointments and unwanted diagnosis’. It seems like I knew this was coming as my mom always warned me, “Getting old is not for the weak.” My Grandma Saltsgiver told the same thing to my mom when she was growing up, and I am sure I will pass along the same words of wisdom to my daughter!

Oh my word! This week I am living that reality with four doctor’s appointments in two days!! Yikes!!

Thursday, August 18th –

  • Audiologist for slight hearing loss
  • Orthopedic Surgeon for pain in my hips with a lovely limp to match

Friday, August 19th –

  • Optometrist for a regular check up and vision test. One of my meds may cause blindness so I have to get my eyes checked every three to four months.
  • Colon Surgeon…hmmm, nuff said!!

Yes, I sometimes feel like this is a bummer that I have more and more ailments to keep track of and medicines to remember and food restrictions. However, most of the time I am so grateful that God has blessed me with an amazing team of doctors to help monitor my ailments and provide solutions. God is so good!! I am never alone for I know Jesus is by my side through it all and I am grateful for the gifts and progress of medicine to help bring healing to so many people along with God’s power, strength and peace.

“Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” ~ Jeremiah 17:14

So…would you pray for me at all the upcoming tests and appointments this week? I would also like to pray for you! Please leave a note in the Comments section if you have a prayer request. I would be honored to lift you up in the name of Christ. Amen, Sisters!

Hugs and blessings, Sweet Circle.

Stacy

Life’s Journey #8: My Pick-Me-Up Scripture

by | Aug 12, 2022 | Life's Journey | 0 comments

Hi, Sweet Circle. 

It has been a week!  I have struggled a little bit emotionally over the last couple weeks due to the accumulation of several unexpected changes.    Here are some of the changes that came my way over the last 10 days…

  • New meds to add to my routine for my autoimmune disease as the other meds are not strong enough on their own.
  • New dietary adjustments due to new meds.
  • Close Contact exposure to a COVID positive person.
  • Five days of isolation and five days of masking to ensure my safety and the safety of others.
  • Cancellation of my small group social activity due to isolation.
  • Cancellation of volunteering at church due to isolation.
  • Feelings of loneliness due to staying home and away from people during this time.

It felt like a lot of change to me and honestly, I was down in the dumps for a few days.  However, I love that my God (and my loving husband) did not leave me there.  I was not alone, and I am finding peace of mind and peace in my soul by reading some of my favorite verses in Scripture.  I wanted to share these with you too in case you need a little pick-me-up!

REST:

  • “So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all His work that He had done in creation.” ~Genesis 2:3
  • “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28
  • “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” ~Psalm 4:8

PEACE:

  • “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7
  • “The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace.” ~Psalm 29:11
  • “The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” ~Romans 8:6

THANKFULNESS:

  • “Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” ~Psalm 107:8-9
  • “Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” ~Colossians 2:6-7
  • “You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever.” ~Psalm 30:11-12
  • “The Lord is my strength , and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.” ~Psalm 28:7
  • “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ~1 Thessalonians 5:18

COMFORT:

  • “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” ~Zephaniah 3:17
  • “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” ~Psalm 34:18
  • “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.” ~Deuteronomy 33:12

HEALING:

  • “‘I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security,’ says the Lord.” ~ Jeremiah 33:6
  • “He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.” ~1 Peter 2:24
  • “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.” ~Psalm 103:2-3

Oh, my…this barely cracks the surface of the life-giving words and truths I have found in Scripture. I have found so much comfort in tough times by resting in the arms of Jesus the words of love He shares with me in His book. I have also used it to celebrate with passages of praise and worship to honor our God. I pray that you too find the passages above to be helpful and I hope to share more with you in our time ahead.

I have come to love a good Bible concordance which provides an alphabetized list of words found in Scripture. If you are needing scripture on strength, or peace, or courage, or even scripture on finances, a concordance will lead you to those topics in the Bible. Biblegateway.com is a great online concordance and Scripture reference tool. Many Bibles offer a concordance in the back pages. We also may consult with Dr. Google…as my daughter’s professor likes to call it…to lead us to some websites that have already compiled these lists by topic. Have fun searching for Scripture that will breathe life and love into you!

QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share in Comments section.)

  • What are your favorite Scripture verses?
  • Do you have any reference tools you like to use?
  • Do you remember a time when God met you in your pain through Scripture or a song? Tell us about it!

PRAYER:

Abba, Father. You are our Creator and Comforter. You desire all our praise and thanksgiving. Thank You, Lord, for Your words of love and guidance to us through the Holy Bible. Your Word give us life and hope through your Son Jesus. Help us to turn to You and your Word before we turn to worldly places and people in our time of need and in our time of celebration. You are our center, our foundation, our strength. Thank you, Lord, for Your sacrifice and unconditional love. Amen.

Hugs & blessings,

Stacy

Life’s Journey #7: “Are knitting and crocheting idols for me?”

by | Aug 2, 2022 | Life's Journey | 0 comments

“Are knitting and crocheting idols for me?” That is the question that I recently asked my counselor. It seemed to me that there was a brief look of confusion on her face when I asked that question. I honestly did not want to explain because I feared that if she said “yes” that they were idols for me then I would have to give up two activities that bring me so much peace and joy. Let me explain…

In my blog post on 7/26/2022 called “In The Word #8: My Idol Was All About Numbers”, I shared about my obsession with body image that dominated my life in my mid-30’s. Body Image, weight, clothing size…all of them…were idols to me. After writing that post, I began to reflect on what my idols today might be. One of the things that I thought about was my love of knitting and crocheting. I shared with Kim, my counselor, that when I am stressed and overwhelmed, I typically pick up my needles to calm my spirit before I open my mind to prayer. As the needles click together rhythmically or the rotation-and-pull of the hook glides through the stitches, I feel my tension and stress fade away. My mind becomes occupied with a gentler and more calming activity rather than the spinning and spinning of the day’s anxiety. After I have a moment to calm down, I am able to pray and have a conversation with God. In all honesty, I don’t pray every time, but it is easier for me to pray after I am settled a bit. My fear was that since I pick up my needles before I speak to the Lord, I may be treating these activities as idols.

I thank the Lord often for my counselor who also shares my faith. She is able to observe and process more clearly my obstacles from a faith-perspective than with the lens I am using for myself. She is a gift to me. She asked me if I thought if it was possible that God Himself gave me these talents and activities as tools to slow down first so I may come to Him more fully. As she asked the question, I felt a sudden peace in my spirit. Her words felt right in my being. Almost as if God was saying, “YES! This is a gift I gave you. Do not fear.”

The process of knitting and crocheting remind me of how God created me…how He knitted me together in my mother’s womb (see Psalm 139). He is using these tools to calm my spirit and pave the path to come to Him in my time of stress. When I remember who I am in Christ as I reflect on this passage of scripture while each stitch is made then I am preparing my soul to hear Him more clearly. I respond to Him with a more open mind rather than being blocked by my human emotions.

Thank you, Jesus.

“For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well.”

~ Psalm 139:13-14

My counselor also reminded me that the enemy loves to warp our perception of right and wrong, good and bad, righteous and not righteous. The enemy is the master deceiver, the father of lies. (John 8:44) With every gift from God, the enemy takes great pleasure in trying to destroy it by making us doubt its goodness and turn away from God’s promises and gifts. (1 Peter 5:8-9) I was reminded that it is possible that the enemy was deceiving me to think these gifts, these tools, given by God to me to bring me His peace and tranquility were bad and wrong. Now when I pick up my needles, I thank God for the peace I feel, and I rebuke the enemy in the name of Jesus! I demand that he leave me alone.

What are my idols today? I am still processing this question and asking God to reveal to me all the things that I am putting before Him in my life. I know it will be a constant battle throughout my time here on earth to resist my selfish desires and continue to put Jesus first. I am grateful for the Holy Spirit in me who acts as my counselor to nudge me and say, “Here’s one, Sister.”

QUESTIONS TO PONDER: Please share in the Comments section below.

  1. What are your idols?
  2. How are you making changes in your life to put God first?
  3. How is God meeting you where you are today to help calm your spirit and bring you peace?

PRAYER:

Abba, Father. Thank you for the gifts and talents that you have given of each one of us. I am so grateful that we are all uniquely made, knitted together by your hands, Lord Jesus. You know us intimately and desire a relationship with us. As the body of Christ, we are all needed for your Kingdom and our talents compliment each other. Help us to see where we are creating idols in our lives above You. Help us to respond actively when the Holy Spirit says, “Here’s one,” by accepting and repenting. For when we accept and repent, the power of Jesus will redeem! Amen.

Hugs & blessings, Sweet Circle,

Stacy