Hello, Sweet Circle. Can I just say that, “It has been a week.”
One of the deepest desires of my heart is to be true to myself and true to you. I shared in my last blog post Life’s Journey #15: The Drowning Man, my latest struggles with the decisions on my treatment for my autoimmune disease. I was struggling. I had doubts. I was crying out to God. I was asking and pleading for direction, and honestly, I was frustrated that I did not hear God’s voice. “Why aren’t you leading me, Lord?” This was a frequent cry of mine over the last week. I even prayed something to the effect of “Why am I praying if I cannot hear You, Lord?!” Yikes! As harsh as that may seem, I know my God, my Lord, is big-enough to handle my questions. He is big enough to hear my frustrations and not lash out at me or abandon me. He loves me and He loves YOU. He desires to hold me and hold YOU in His arms through it all …even when we are crying out to Him with our confusion, our laments, and even our anger.
Psalm 42 was one of the recent Psalms I read on May 12, 2023, while I was going through this challenging week. (See post In The Word #14: A Walk Through the Psalms for my reading plan.) I was moved by the honesty and directness of the Psalmist. My heart connected with these words as I read them. I loved the lessons and messages which spoke to me in these words. The permission to struggle, ask questions and praise our God in my communications with Him.
For the choir director: A psalm[a] of the descendants of Korah.
1 As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. 2 I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him? 3 Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?”
4 My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks amid the sound of a great celebration!
5 Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and 6 my God!
Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you— even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar. 7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me. 8 But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.
9 “O God my rock,” I cry, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?” 10 Their taunts break my bones. They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”
11 Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!
LESSONS I LEARNED in PSALM 42:
Verses 1-2: I may express my longing for God. Sometimes I don’t feel as close and connected with God as I want to be. I know He has not left me, but I am drifting from Him for some reason. It may be my own sinful actions or unconfessed sin or time away from Him and His Word or whatever. But when I turn back to Him, I know He hears me. He is waiting for me to return. He welcomes me home to His open arms and His provision. He quenches my thirst for Him with His love and His Word.
Verses 3-4: I may be honest with my pain, my hurt, and my tears. God already knows what is going on in my head, my life, and my soul. He knows my hurt and my pain. I cannot hide anything from Him. I may open up to God in honesty, and I know His love is unconditional…always.
Verses 5-8: I may lament over my own confusion. And I praise God in the midst of the confusion. God’s provision, love and grace will wash over me like the waves of the sea. He is faithful, merciful, and full of grace. I may CHOOSE JOY always, knowing that God is with me always. Even when I am sad and my emotions are raging, God is with me. I may rejoice in Him, praise Him and the life that I have through His Son Jesus.
Verses 9-11: I may put my hope in God, my Rock. God desires my praise in all circumstances for my hope is in Him in all circumstances. Jesus has overcome temptation, peer pressure, sin, and death. I have eternal life in Jesus, because I believe. No matter what I am facing, I do not need to despair for I know God will redeem all. He will make beauty from ashes. He will remove all my shame, all my regret, all my doubts. For God is Good and I may CHOOSE JOY for the promises He gives me.
Amen and Thank You, Jesus.
I am not perfect and I make bad decisions. But amidst the struggles of my human side, I also know that I am a beloved child of God. I am known, valued, worthy and loved by my God. I am only saved from sin through the love of Jesus. Jesus is the one who can redeem my soul and forgive me of my shortcomings. My hope is in Him and Him alone. He is worthy of my praise. His shoulders may bear the weight of my questions and pain. He will redeem me and my life.
And He will do the same for you, my Sisters and Brothers!
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share in the Comments section below.)
What is the Psalm that speaks to your heart?
Why do you connect with it?
If you do not have a Psalm in mind, reflect on Psalm 42. Are you able to feel the Holy Spirit impress upon you comfort, hope and joy through the verses? What is coming to mind for you?
“To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus, for your love and provision. You are our gracious, forgiving, and merciful God. You love us unconditionally. You know us completely…even our sin. Yet you will never turn away from us. You are patient and kind and will welcome us home to you when we seek you and ask for forgiveness. We CHOOSE JOY and choose hope for you are with us always. Amen.
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
This story was at the heart of my God-moment this week. Let me explain…
Over the last year, I have not been making progress with my current medication for my auto-immune disease…Cicatricial Pemphigoid. (For more mentions of this disease and the impact it has had on my life, read my blog posts: Behind The Scenes #3, Life’s Journey #10 and Life’s Journey #11.) I experienced some improvement from when I was first diagnosed in 2021, but not enough that I would be considered healthy and able to eat more freely. I did not want to go forward with the next recommended drug as it is a stronger drug and an immuno-suppressant drug. Both of these qualities for the new drug brought with them feelings of fear and anxiety for me. I was afraid that if I started an immuno-suppressant drug at the age of 54 then I would be preventing my body from being able to fight off normally harmless bacteria and viruses for the rest of my life. The following questions swirled in my head…
Would I be sick more frequently?
Would I be able to get over minor illnesses without major complications?
Would I need to restrict myself from participating in public events in order to avoid being exposed to potential illnesses?
What are the other side effects of the new drug on other parts of my body?
Would this cause a shorter life expectancy?
As you can imagine, these were not fun thoughts! I was experiencing a low-grade fever of anxiety, doubt and fear over next steps with this drug.
With that said over the last two months I have been pursuing a potential alternative treatment plan for my auto-immune disease through a more holistic approach. I went through many, many, MANY tests with the treatment center and received my results in mid-April. The results showed several issues other than the auto-immune disease. Some of the issues were even described to be extreme issues. The treatment plan would consist of significant diet changes, over 12 new supplements and medications, and IV therapy. That would be A LOT of changes and A LOT of meds to manage every 2 hours throughout the day.
I was struggling to make a decision to commit to a six-month treatment plan. My husband and I discussed our options thoroughly and often. My hubby was and is extremely supportive. We had our doubts but also felt that we needed to give this a shot. Before deciding, we also talked to my general practitioner, my brother-in-law who is an infectious disease doctor, our daughter who is in veterinary medicine, and most recently my auto-immune specialist. All 3.5 doctors (Madi takes her Board exams in December 2023 so I gave her 1/2 point!🙂) were very concerned about the treatment, the side effects of the supplements and IVs to my current prescription medications, my overall health with all the changes, and even more relevant…they did not agree with the interpretations of the results. They agreed that there were minor variances in the results, but nothing that would be a red flag or serious issue. Even after all these discussions, we said YES to the plan, but the struggle was not over.
Within days of accepting the plan, I was having increased anxiety and tearful days over the decision. I was worried about what my doctors told me. I was worried about managing all the changes. And I was worried about the cost. My heart was not at ease. On Monday morning, May 15th, I was praying and crying out to God about this situation. My laments consisted of the following:
Lord, you know I have been praying.
Lord, I know many others have been praying for me too.
Lord, I know you hear us, but why can’t I hear you and your direction in this?
Lord, how can I hear your voice in this? Help me hear you!
Lord, tell me what to do!
While these prayers, cries, and pleas were exiting my mouth, out-of-the-blue, I remembered the story above…The Drowning Man. And then I had an Ah-Ha thought…God sent me three and a half rescuers; three and a half rescuers who are not affiliated with each other; three and a half rescuers who are all saying the same thing.
“Is this You, Jesus? Is this You talking to me through the Holy Spirit in my soul? Is this You who brought to mind this story in the middle of my prayer and cries for discernment?”I believe it was.
I cancelled the treatment plan the very next day.
I truly believe that if the new treatment was right for ME at this time then I would be at more peace. Two days later, after cancelling the plan, I can say that the heaviness on my heart and mind is gone. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you to all who were praying for me in this decision. We still have more decisions to make regarding changes in my medicine. And we are seeking a second opinion due to the advice of my auto-immune specialist. And you can bet that I will be listening intently for the Holy Spirit’s nudges with future paths!
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please respond in the Comments section below.)
What are you currently wrestling with?
How can we be praying for you?
If you are struggling to hear God’s whispers and feel His nudges through the Spirit, have you cried out to Him to help you hear Him? If not, take a moment to do so now. He desires to move you, love you, and lead you.
“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
During the month of April 2023, my husband and I rented a condo in Palm Coast, Florida. We transplanted ourselves into a new environment, new community and new rhythms for our month away from Indiana. Whenever I have been to a beach area, I am consumed by the sounds, sights and sands of the ocean. I am able to feel my spirit soar and my imagination rise like the tide. The rhythm of my day changes to accommodate the need to be connected to God through the sand and the sea, the roar and tumble of the waves, and the rise and fall of the tide.
This trip was no different, other than the fact that I had 30 glorious days to listen to the ocean, praise God with the roar of the waves, and let my prayers soar with the seagulls. Each morning I read from the Psalms out load while sitting on the beach or on the deck of the condo. I gasped, smiled and laughed in awe when the words sounded like the cries of my own heart (Psalm 16, Choose Joy). I lifted my hands in the air with words of praise (Psalm 103). And sometimes, I sat quietly reflecting on the cries of distress from the Psalmist, wondering how I would respond in the same circumstances (Psalm 59).
READING THROUGH THE PSALMS
This rhythm of reading the Psalms each morning was new to me. I have been reminded frequently of the power and emotion found in the Psalms during sermons, Bible studies, podcasts and blog posts. But before this trip, I did not have a regular system or plan to spend time in this Book of the Bible on a regular basis. However, I wanted this to be part of my opening prayer to God each morning on this trip. I brainstormed my own ideas and read through some suggestions online. Here are a few of the ideas to consider if you would like to join me in this daily practice.
Method #1: Since there are 150 psalms in the Book of Psalms, then reading five consecutive chapters each day will allow you to finish the Book in 30 days. For those months that have 31 days, then you will have either a rest day or a catch up day at the end before beginning the next month. For the month of February, you will need to read a few more chapters on some of the days to end on time.
Method #2: Create a Psalms Reading Jar. Use 150 popsicle sticks (or pieces of paper), and number them 1 through 150 with a marker. Put the sticks/paper in a jar. Each morning draw five sticks and read the chapters corresponding to each number. Don’t replace the sticks into the jar until the end of the month when you are ready to start a new month. You may also use a second jar to hold the sticks that you have already completed. This might be a fun project to make as a family if you want to read along with kids or grandkids.
Method #3:
Since the chapters of the Psalms tend to stand alone, I decided to read five chapters a day using the following system:
I like this method because I can use the date to remind me my starting Psalm for the day, then I keep adding 30 to that number until I reach the end of the Book. (For example, on May 1st, I read Psalm 1, then 31, then 61, then 91 and finally 121. Does that make sense?)
“You make known to me the path of life;
You will fill me with JOY in Your presence,
with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.” (emphasis mine)
Frequently, I found myself especially drawn to specific verses of the Psalmists within one of the chapters. I used the verses as the basis for my prayer at the end of my time with Jesus each day. (I will close this post today by praying Psalm 16:11 below.) I hope this helps and motivates you to walk through the Psalms as part of your scripture reading. Jump in today or start on the first day of the next month. Either way, the time you spend in the Word of God will change you and grow your faith by not only understanding God’s character better, but also allowing His love wash over you through His words…reminding you of your value and worth. You are known, cherished and loved completely by Jesus. You are perfect just the way you are, my Friends.
PRAYER:
Abba, Father. You know me completely. You reveal to me each day the path and plan for my life. Help me respond to your nudges, Jesus. You fill me with JOY just by being a beloved child of Yours. Regardless of what I am going through in my daily life, I know that I am Yours always and You will be with me always here on earth and through eternity. I choose YOU, God, and therefore I CHOOSE JOY in all things. Amen.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER:
Do you read through the Psalms regularly? If so, what is your method? Please share in the comments below.
What is your favorite Psalm?
Consider sending a note to a friend or family member who needs some encouragement. Write your favorite verse(s) from the Psalms on a card, in a text, or in an email and send it to them. Allow the love of Jesus to work through you to lighten the path and show love for one another.
Hello, Sweet Circle of Friends. My husband and I have been on-the-go for the last six weeks…from March 16th to May 1st. I was concerned about the stress of it all in early March with planes, drives, moving, coordinating, etc. But God brought the best of it all! In all the moments, I continued to CHOOSE JOY. Sometimes I succeeded and I saw the blessings in the little things. Sometimes I missed the mark and my emotions were in control. With each new day, or even each new hour of the day, I worked towards finding the JOY. The JOY was occasionally as small as watching a butterfly flip through the air or as grand as celebrating my medical test results…even if the results were not what I wanted to hear. The JOY was in the mere fact that we have results. I no longer have to wonder and I can focus on the next steps. A summary of my blessings for each adventure are below.
WASHINGTON D.C – March 16 – March 21
My first excursion was to Washington D.C. to help our son and daughter-in-law move from Columbia, Maryland, to Washington D.C. I flew. My husband drove. We had three days of boxing things up, taking apart furniture, driving the hour back and forth with loads of items in our cars and in the moving truck, unloading, unboxing and re-assembling the furniture. It was crazy, but so exciting at the same time. By the time I left on Tuesday, we had virtually everything unpacked and in it’s place. We were only lacking a few more plants to brighten up the spare bedroom/office and a bit of the office equipment to unpack and set up.
What were the blessings in the trip to D.C.?
I felt blessed to be with Mitch and Shannon as well as Shannon’s mom over the long weekend!
I was relieved at our progress with the move. I was joyful knowing that Mitch and Shannon would have the least possible disruptions in their busy lives.
My heart was happy to know that Mitch and Shannon were in a safer community.
I love their new place and the area. It is walkable to so many things including several coffee shops :-), restaurants, shopping, Union Station, and all the sites of D.C. The row house is adorable with so much character.
They are closer to their church, small group community, public transportation for school/work, and friends.
We all had safe travels to and from D.C. as well as multiple trips between the apartment and row house.
We were able to worship together at their church in D.C. Always fantastic!
Thank you, Jesus, for a the opportunity to be able to help them and for great conversation and memories during this hectic move.
CORVALIS, OREGON – March 24 – March 29
Two days after returning from D.C. I flew to Corvalis, Oregon, to see my daughter Madi over her spring break. She was feeling burned-out from classes and exams, and we both needed some downtime. We enjoyed balancing our chores with some much needed rest. So we tackled one action along with a bit of fun and rest each day. It was a perfect getaway to see my Madi-girl and get her ready for the last term of her 3rd year of Vet School.
What were the blessings in the trip to Oregon?
I was blessed to be able to fly to Oregon and see my daughter!
We have a tradition that every time I come we rearrange her bedroom. We did this the first two days. It was so rewarding to see the new perspective and know that we were changing things just enough to make the new term feel like a fresh start. I loved helping to make her vision come to life.
I enjoyed meal-prepping so she was stocked with some healthy, favorite food choices.
We went to her church together for an amazing praise and worship experience! Always uplifting to see the familiar faces and powerful service!
I was blessed that one of Madi’s small group members prayed over me and my health at the service.
I was blessed to spend time with my daughter. No matter what we did…whether it was a project, craft, chore, or just rest, she was and is a bright light in my life.
PALM COAST, FORIDA – March 31 – May 1
WOW!!! What an experience! Pat and I have never taken a month to get away from the Indiana cold weather and work remotely. This was our first time to do this and first time in Palm Coast. We found a condo in Palm Coast on VRBO and decided to GO FOR IT! We booked it 14 months in advance and had a year to save up and prepare. Not only did we go on this trip, but we took our 75 lb. dog…Grizzly…with us! It was amazing!!! We loved it and we will definitely do this again! AS a matter of fact…we ARE doing this again in the exact same condo for April 2024!
What were the blessings in Palm Coast, Florida?
I loved the quality time with my loving, wonderful husband on the drive and throughout the month.
I felt so connected with our Creator God on my walks along the beach with Grizzly.
I loved being surrounded by the roar of the waves on the beach while doing my Bible study at sunrise.
We were blessed with terrific views of the ocean and golf course around us.
We were blessed to share this experience with friends and family who stayed with us during part of the trip.
Finally, one of the most powerful experiences in my life was finding and connecting with Lifecoast Church Bible Crafters. The women of this group…my sisters in Christ…welcomed me, adopted me into their group, listened to me, and shared with me the love of Christ and the love of crafting. There are no words to express the impact they had and still have on me. I can’t wait to see their beautiful faces again in April 2024! Love you all, sweet Sisters!
” A journey is best measured in FRIENDS, rather than MILES.”
~Tim Cahill
The last nine days back in Indiana have been filled with reflection, praises and prayers for the people and experiences on these three trips. I treasure the memories we made together with old friends, new friends, and family. I am grateful for the opportunities to see our children. And I am blessed and amazed at how I saw God’s plan in action by leading me to the Lifecoast Church and Lifecoast Bible Crafters. You all amaze me and I love seeing the light of Jesus in your eyes and actions.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share your thoughts in the comments below.)
Are you traveling this summer? Where and what are your plans while there?
If not, what might you consider exploring locally to build new memories and meet new people?
Who was the last new friend you made and how might God have been working in that encounter?
Did you know that most people make a New Year’s resolution every year without fail? And yet every year most of those resolutions do fail. Statistics state that over 70% of people break their New Year’s resolution by the beginning of March. Yikes! So by today, the beginning of March, many people have given up and moved on without their resolution in mind.
Some year’s ago I stopped making New Year’s resolutions because I was always one of the 70%. I decided to look at the year as an opportunity to select seasonal or annual focal points. It’s not an all-or-nothing goal or a big aspiration or a workout that takes lots of time or energy. The focal points for me are do-able steps I can take in my daily life that add up to change my perspective or improve my outlook or increase my knowledge. There are no deadlines or requirements or specific actions. The focal points inspire me and allow me to be creative within their parameters. Here are some of my focal points for 2023:
# 1: CHOOSE JOY – Annual
After the last two year’s of battling health issues that frequently caused anxiety or depression, I decided that I wanted to make an effort in my decisions and circumstances to CHOOSE JOY, no matter the circumstances. This phrase became such a powerful message for me to overcome my anxiety and change my perspective that I wanted a permanent, daily reminder to focus on God’s joy. So I got a tatoo! Not only did I want to remember to CHOOSE JOY, but I also wanted to remember that I will grow in my trust and faith in the power of Jesus in my life by doing so….that is the purpose of the vine symbol of the tatoo. What are you changing this year to help you focus on the positive elements of your day?
Designed and completed by Samielle Foltz in Carmel, Indiana.
“Do not grieve. For the JOY of the Lord is my strength.” (emphasis mine)
# 2: WIN FOR THE DAY – Annual
Focusing on my WIN FOR THE DAY has also given me an opportunity to end each day processing the good that has happened in my life. My daily points of gratitude. I write these in a little journal called the Panda Planner. It is the perfect format to record what I was grateful for, what was my WIN for the day, what were my priorities and schedule as well as white space to expand on the positive elements. I also record prayer requests for my friends, family, community, and the world. This focal point keeps my mind off myself and allows me to praise God for the my WINs. Since starting this, I have found multiple WINs each day, and I have seen the impact on my attitude. What is your WIN for the day?
# 3: LEARN A NEW CRAFT or TECHNIQUE – Seasonal
I have a passion for learning. Truly. I think I could spend every day, all day, reading, DIYing, crafting, researching all sorts of things. I love to learn new crafts, new facts, and new DIY gift ideas! Each quarter I try to find something new to learn or engage with for a challenge. I believe it is good for my emotional health and mental health to continually expand my talents, activities, and knowledge. These challenges bring me joy even if I discover some of them are NOT activities I want to keep doing! Last year I taught myself…along with the amazing Toni Lipsey from TLYarnCrafts…to Tunisian crochet. I also re-engaged with how to handmake greeting cards with paper and some simple tools with my dear friend Jill Pegram, a Stampin’ Up consultant. Finally, my daughter taught me the basics of watercolor painting and my daughter-in-law gifted me the tools to do it on my own. So far this year I have learned two new crochet stitches and spent some time learning about St. Augustine, FL…the oldest city in the country. What was the latest craft you learned or the latest fun fact?
My latest new stitch…the Star Stitch! I am making this blanket as part of my service group called Graceful Hands Go Group. We knit, crochet and sew for charity. This will go to a foster care ministry that provides items for kids in foster care.
I made this blanket to donate to an organization that supports foster kids.
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please share your responses in the Comments section below.)
What motivates you?
What do you do to alleviate boredom?
What is a new craft or skill you have learned?
What are your focal points for 2023?
What are your techniques or tools that you use to focus on gratitude and positive thinking?
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
PRAYER: Abba, Father, you are an awesome, creative God. You created us uniquely yet at the same time orchestrated our lives and our callings to blend together and support each other. We all have things to do, to learn, to serve and to give. We all have trials yet each day brings blessings too. We only need to open our eyes and sometimes change our perspective to see the blessings. Lord, don’t let us miss these moments and the people that bring them. Help us reflect and process the positive elements and choose joy in all circumstances. Amen!
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