The Drowning Man
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
This story was at the heart of my God-moment this week. Let me explain…
Over the last year, I have not been making progress with my current medication for my auto-immune disease…Cicatricial Pemphigoid. (For more mentions of this disease and the impact it has had on my life, read my blog posts: Behind The Scenes #3, Life’s Journey #10 and Life’s Journey #11.) I experienced some improvement from when I was first diagnosed in 2021, but not enough that I would be considered healthy and able to eat more freely. I did not want to go forward with the next recommended drug as it is a stronger drug and an immuno-suppressant drug. Both of these qualities for the new drug brought with them feelings of fear and anxiety for me. I was afraid that if I started an immuno-suppressant drug at the age of 54 then I would be preventing my body from being able to fight off normally harmless bacteria and viruses for the rest of my life. The following questions swirled in my head…
- Would I be sick more frequently?
- Would I be able to get over minor illnesses without major complications?
- Would I need to restrict myself from participating in public events in order to avoid being exposed to potential illnesses?
- What are the other side effects of the new drug on other parts of my body?
- Would this cause a shorter life expectancy?
As you can imagine, these were not fun thoughts! I was experiencing a low-grade fever of anxiety, doubt and fear over next steps with this drug.
With that said over the last two months I have been pursuing a potential alternative treatment plan for my auto-immune disease through a more holistic approach. I went through many, many, MANY tests with the treatment center and received my results in mid-April. The results showed several issues other than the auto-immune disease. Some of the issues were even described to be extreme issues. The treatment plan would consist of significant diet changes, over 12 new supplements and medications, and IV therapy. That would be A LOT of changes and A LOT of meds to manage every 2 hours throughout the day.
I was struggling to make a decision to commit to a six-month treatment plan. My husband and I discussed our options thoroughly and often. My hubby was and is extremely supportive. We had our doubts but also felt that we needed to give this a shot. Before deciding, we also talked to my general practitioner, my brother-in-law who is an infectious disease doctor, our daughter who is in veterinary medicine, and most recently my auto-immune specialist. All 3.5 doctors (Madi takes her Board exams in December 2023 so I gave her 1/2 point!🙂) were very concerned about the treatment, the side effects of the supplements and IVs to my current prescription medications, my overall health with all the changes, and even more relevant…they did not agree with the interpretations of the results. They agreed that there were minor variances in the results, but nothing that would be a red flag or serious issue. Even after all these discussions, we said YES to the plan, but the struggle was not over.
Within days of accepting the plan, I was having increased anxiety and tearful days over the decision. I was worried about what my doctors told me. I was worried about managing all the changes. And I was worried about the cost. My heart was not at ease. On Monday morning, May 15th, I was praying and crying out to God about this situation. My laments consisted of the following:
- Lord, you know I have been praying.
- Lord, I know many others have been praying for me too.
- Lord, I know you hear us, but why can’t I hear you and your direction in this?
- Lord, how can I hear your voice in this? Help me hear you!
- Lord, tell me what to do!
While these prayers, cries, and pleas were exiting my mouth, out-of-the-blue, I remembered the story above…The Drowning Man. And then I had an Ah-Ha thought…God sent me three and a half rescuers; three and a half rescuers who are not affiliated with each other; three and a half rescuers who are all saying the same thing.
“Is this You, Jesus? Is this You talking to me through the Holy Spirit in my soul? Is this You who brought to mind this story in the middle of my prayer and cries for discernment?” I believe it was.
I cancelled the treatment plan the very next day.
I truly believe that if the new treatment was right for ME at this time then I would be at more peace. Two days later, after cancelling the plan, I can say that the heaviness on my heart and mind is gone. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you to all who were praying for me in this decision. We still have more decisions to make regarding changes in my medicine. And we are seeking a second opinion due to the advice of my auto-immune specialist. And you can bet that I will be listening intently for the Holy Spirit’s nudges with future paths!
QUESTIONS TO PONDER: (Please respond in the Comments section below.)
- What are you currently wrestling with?
- How can we be praying for you?
- If you are struggling to hear God’s whispers and feel His nudges through the Spirit, have you cried out to Him to help you hear Him? If not, take a moment to do so now. He desires to move you, love you, and lead you.
“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
~ Psalm 143:8
Hugs & blessings, Sweet Circle,
Stacy
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